24 December, 2009

Happy Fu*king Christmas

A happy Christmas/holidays etc to all you people out there.

I hope you all have a good time and enjoy yourselves. A special mention to all the service men and women overseas at this time, all the very best to you and stay safe.

And remember the true message of Christmas, Dr Who is on tomorrow. I'll have my Tardis pajamas and woolly dalek cap on to watch it - will you?

18 December, 2009

DVD Demand Demands DVD Duplicates

Sorry, I got carried away with the title.

Sales for Stirton Productions, murder comedy "One Day Removals," have gone a bit mad so we've had to extend our sales into the new year.

We have limited stocks now, so anyone wanting to buy a copy online better get a move on. We are going to be stopping selling the movie ourselves, but you'll have to wait for news on that.

Also, the annual Stirton Productions Christmas party was held last night at the new Stirton Towers complex. In keeping with the company charter, we had to to play one entire game of "War Of The Daleks." (which is ace) This year's game was won by producer, Kerwin Robertson: who got called a git, for winning.

03 December, 2009

One Day Removals on Raindance TV

Big beefy Scottish snuff/road movie - "One Day Removals," is now available to watch online from those lovely folk at Raindance TV. The film will be available via a number of players, but at the moment it is only on Babelgum Film. It is the whole movie, so check it out if you can.

In other news: The dvd of the movie will no longer be sold from our Stirton Productions website after Christmas. So if you do want some mad sweary fun in your stocking this Xmas, you had better buy it quickly.

We'll have news about what's happening with the movie soon. Just don't go anywhere in case you miss it. We'll know, so just keep watching...

17 November, 2009

Inverness Film Festival One Day Removals Screening

Well, that's the Inverness Film Festival over. We had a run up the road from Aberdeen to attend and it went rather well. There was a good turn out for the screening and the crowd really loved the film, as usual.

One Day Removals seems to have fans of all ages. We were signing copies for folk in their late teens and into their 80's. Two elderly ladies said it was the best laugh they had had in years. We really appreciated that. We had to sign dozens of copies for the audience, it wore us out. Director, Mark Stirton, looked kind of shell shocked afterwards.

At the screening we met up with one of the cast, a veteran from 'The Planet' and 'One Day Removals,' Shawn Paul Hastings and went out for a huge meal afterwards. Getting back to the guest house was a bit of a struggle, but eventually we managed to roll our way there.

A good screening with no problems, thanks to the staff at the Eden Court, who were hosting the festival. Only a couple of photos at the moment, as I was so busy. Kerwin Robertson has a few more, which I'll get up soon.

Remember, One Day Removals is now available on Bablelgum to watch - for free.

22 October, 2009

Inverness Film Festival 2009 - One Day Removals Screening

"One Day Removals," has been chosen for selection at this year's Inverness Film Festival. We'll be appearing alongside some cracking new international movies, like "Cold Souls." So rush out and buy lots of tickets now.

The Inverness Film Festival, now in it's 7th year, has earned a name for itself as one of the premier festivals in the UK. The festival runs from November 11th to Sunday 15th at the Eden Court center, Inverness. We hope to see a good turn out on Sunday 15th, so we get another full house, that would be a hat-trick for the movie as we've filled the screens at two Scottish festivals so far.

The official festival site can be found -
Below is th ecurrent festival programme:-

Inverness Film Festival 2009

08 September, 2009

BAFTA Scotland and the Amazing Screening of One Day Removals

Yes, it's an old school dr who title for the amazing screening we attended at the BAFTA Scotland headquarter in Glasgow.

Funnily enough, BAFTA is the floor below Scottish Screen, so it took quite an effort to get director Mark Stirton (or me) in the building after the history we've had with them. But hopefully that's all changed now as one of the attendees at the screening was from Scottish Screen and has opened a dialogue with us. We'll look forward to letting you know the fruits of that dialogue in due course.

The screening itself was quite intimate, a viewing room with 10 people (counting us) with the movie being shown via a wee lcd projector attached to a macbook. But, it's one of the best screenings we've had, including the fully booked showings at festivals.

What was meant to be a short q&a, hosted by journalist Eddie Harrison, turned into an hour long matey chat with some lovely BAFTA jury members. We'd like to thank everyone for taking the time to come along and ask some great questions. So fingers all crossed for the feature film nominations in October.

Also, we got to see some police boxes as there are heaps in Glasgow. This one's now a tiny gallery.

02 September, 2009

BAFTA Scotland Screening One Day Removals

Stirton Productions's Doric comedy, One Day Removals, is to have a screening at the BAFTA Scotland headquarters in Glasgow, next Monday.

The movie is part of this month's screening schedule, alongside some other great movies. It may be the only comedy though.

So, if you want the best laugh you've ever had with your clothes on (and you're a BAFTA member) head on down to 249 West George St, Glasgow on the 7th and giggle away at the funniest film ever made in Scotland - to feature a blue van and a comedy German.

For member bookings visit here - BAFTA Scotland.

24 August, 2009

One Day Removals - Doric Murder Black Comedy Road Movie - now on sale

The most fun you'll ever have while watching a van load of bleeding corpses.
Available now on PAL DVD from
Stirton Productions

Also, Click on link below to join the Facebook fan page for the movie. Lots of photos and behind the scenes stuff.

Lots of exciting things have happened in the past week, but we better not speak about them until things are confirmed. It's got us excited though, and that usually only happens with new dr who news!!

13 August, 2009

Scottish Screen - Who are they helping?

A contact page has been set up for those interested in expressing their opinions, good or bad, about Scottish Screen. The official film body of Scotland.

Over the years many people have been unhappy about the way the Scottish Screen works. If you are a film professional, or have had dealings with Scottish Screen you may want to sign up and have your say. We hope later to publish our findings in the press, which may help Scottish Screen see what the industry in Scotland really think.

Here is a recent news item about Scottish Screen - The Scotsman

Click on link below to join the Facebook page.

Scottish Screen Facebook Page

12 August, 2009

One Day Removals - Facebook Fan Page

Hi folks, our movie 'One Day Removals,' now has a Facebook fan page for you to glare at. Join the fun and excitement of Stirton Productions comedy classic in the comfort of your own computer. Link is here:- Facebook

03 August, 2009

Cass Joins the Aberdeen City Firm

Last Saturday saw the closing gala of the least advertised festival in the world, the Aberdeen City and Shire Film Festival. Apart from the opening screening of 'One Day Removals,' which sold out, numbers for the other films were terrible. Hopefully next year the organisers will try promoting the venues a bit more. For a city with more money than most others in Scotland the effort was pretty embarrassing. Aberdeen City council - get your sodding finger out!

The numbers at the closing gala were also not that great, especially considering the movie that was on. The film was '
Cass,' Jon S. Baird's movie based on the autobiography by Cass Pennant, about his early life in West Ham's InterCity Firm - one of the best known of the football hooligan crews in the 1980's.

We got a chance to meet up with the director Jon Baird (a fellow Aberdonian, now living in London) and Cass Pennant who also attended the gala. As few people turned up to the screening we managed to mostly monopolise Jon and Cass for the rest of the evening. They are great guys and we had a good evening chatting to them.
Cass Pennant is so sharp, you really have to keep on your toes while talking to him: smart bloke.

In the photo are (from the left) Stirton Productions producers Kerwin Robertson and Michael Clark, director Mark Stirton and Cass Pennant. Sorry about the picture quality, photo is from a phone in bad lighting. Also sorry about the elf in the background, my pointy hat was at the cleaners that day.

28 July, 2009

One Day Removals - The funniest film of the Aberdeen festival

Mark Stirton in full flow at the Q&A after screening
Michael Clark reaching where other producers fear to go!
John Lovett, Julia Stewart and Mark Stirton
The stalwart crew of the Belmont Cinema
Mark Stirton with Provost and Lord Provost, masters of bling
Here are a few photos from the Aberdeen City and Shire film festival gala, last Friday. As you can see it was a fun night with a capacity crowd at the screening. Being introduced by the Provost and Lord Provost (mayor) of Aberdeen city and shire was a bonus.

Attending the festival were the lead actors Patrick Wight and Scott Ironside, along with several of the cast - Julia Stewart, John Lovett, Alistair Ritchie, Ronald Stirton and Ken McRae. Funnily enough everybody wanted their photo taken with Julia and not me! I'm wearing a wig and heels at the next festival

Director bloke, Mark Stirton and other producer bloke Michael Clark (Kerwin Robertson the other producer had a family party on and couldn't make it, splitter!) had a Q&A session after the massively enjoyable screening. Most of the questions were interesting so there was no violence.

Afterwards we went to the party hosted by the organisers. Half of a small pub was devoted to the event and we got the half with the toilets. There is now word of One Day Removals getting a week's run the the Belmont cinema, that would be great. I'll let you know how we get on with that.

As usual all the photos are by photo mage - Mark Wyness. Many thanks.

27 July, 2009

One Day Removals - now on sale

Just a quick update. The online sales for 'One Day Removals,' are now active. Visit the Stirton Productions homepage or lazyclick on the link here:)

One Day Removals DVD

One Day Removals wow's Aberdeen Film Festival

The 1st Aberdeen City and Shire Film Festival opened with a bang on Friday. The Sell out screening of our movie 'One Day Removals,' was a huge success and the audience literally laughed their faces off. Attending the festival were Director, Mark Stirton,
lead actors Patrick Wight and Scott Ironside and several other cast and crew. Oh, and me of course.

The night went really well, even the tiny party afterwards near the toilets at 'the Hub.' There will be a full photo review in next few days.

17 July, 2009

One Day Removals DVD Now On Sale

The new 'One Day Removals' DVD is now available from One Up Records - 17 Belmont Street and Bruce Millers - 363 Union Street, Aberdeen. More stores in town will carry the film soon, check main Stirton Productions site for details. DVD's will also be available to buy after the Aberdeen film festival launch next Friday, 24th July.

Online sales will start on Monday July 27th from the Stirton Productions website.

13 July, 2009

One Day Removals opens Aberdeen City and Shire Film Festival

Stirton Productions movie 'One Day Removals' is to launch the 1st Aberdeen City and Shire film festival, on Friday July 24th 8.30pm. There will also be a party afterwards at Bar 5 (The Hub) on Union street at 10.30. For networking and general fun.

There will be a question and answer session after the screening, where the audience can grill the cast and crew. At time of writing, those attending will be writer/director Mark Stirton, producer #2/production designer Michael Clark, and star Patrick Wight (Andy). We are hoping to hear back from Scott Ironside and other members of cast soon.

Also on at the festival are 2 films by local director Lee Hutcheon. 'The Clan', starring James Cosmo, and 'The Men of Piper Alpha', a documentary about the world’s worst ever offshore oil and gas disaster. The closing gala will have a screening of Jon Baird's, excellent bio-pic 'Cass'.

12 June, 2009

God! Has it been that long?

Bloody hell, it's been ages since I posted anything. I've been so involved in the marketing stuff that I ain't done nothin' else. Well, apart from find twitter. Think I've lost a week somewhere. This is me tweet here.

To make up here's a still I did recently for One Day Removals, that ended up not being used due to context. Nice bit of photo exercise for me though. I had to create a fake family photo for the Andy character played by Patrick Wight. His on-screen wife and daughter Susan and Emily Robertson had to be seen with him. Of course we didn't do that when they were in the same room as that would have been easy!

Here are the series of photos I made the final composit from. Yes, Susan and Emily are at the Dr who exhibiton in Glasgow.

12 May, 2009

Colouring n' Stuff

A comic artist I met whilst he was chained in a cellar in Aberdeen, is doing lots of work at the moment. Not only is he working on the graphic novel of Sweeny Todd (from the book not the musical Tim Burton destroyed) but he is providing wonderful covers and drawn thingies for lots of other publications.

Declan Shalvey is the chap.

A cover he's produced for the Boom Studio's new Poe, mini series intrigued me. So for some retarded reason known not even to my good self, I said I'd have a go at colouring it. It has already been done for the comic so my attempt can only be for fun - or an exercise into why I shouldn't.

Mr Shalvey is a traditional ink and pen artist, so I thought I'd go all photoshoppy on it to see the difference, lots of gradated tones and photo highlighting. Total pants as it turned out. Declan's art rejects Buffy style colouring so I went the other way and used mostly flat colour with grungy splats. In the end I have a dark looking thing that may have been coloured with inks.

That'll learn me. It did however give me a break from doing film work, which I can't show here at the moment. Don't worry, it will all be up here soon.

10 April, 2009

One Day Removals - Raindance Screening in London

The latest movie from Stirton Towers - 'One Day Removals,' is to receive a special screening at the Raindance Film Club next week.

The screening will be held on Wednesday 15th April, 7pm at the The Horse Hospital, The Colonnade, Bloomsbury, London WC1N 1HX. Click here for map. If you're in the area and fancy a chance to see it, come on down.

Entry is free and we are assured the beer is cheap. Many thanks to the Raindance team for arranging the event. Elliot Grove and Jesse Vile are now our godparents. We hope everyone enjoys the full-on Doric snuff-fest with the company of a few refreshments.

Just to repeat - FREE ENTRY / CHEAP BEER

03 March, 2009

Down in Doune

Last weekend I attended a christening for me godson MKII, Michael Macleod, in the wee Perthshire village of Doune. Service and all that stuff went well and we had a great meal afterwards at a large country house, Cromlix House to be exact. I do like properly trained staff and I didn't have to whip any of them.

But my real reason for going down to Doune was to see the
castle. Yes, I am that shallow.

Yup, it's the one used as most of the castles in Monty Python and the Holy Grail. It really hasn't changed much in the last 300 hundred years, but I still managed to be surprised at how it hadn't changed since they filmed the movie in the 70's. The shop inside even has coconut shells in case people want to gallop round the castle.

It's a fun little castle and well worth a visit. Especially if you like running up the stairs inside and killing guards.

Here is a still from the movie, featuring the ill-fated Trojan Rabbit.

30 years later, from a slightly different angle.

For those soppy folk wishing to see my new godson, here he is. Don't worry, he'll grow into it.

24 February, 2009

Glasgow Film Festival Photos- Part 1

Here are a selection of photos (thanks to Mark Wyness) from the 'sold out' screening at the Glasgow Film Festival on Friday. The film was very well received and the audience had a great time.

Director Mark Stirton, with sign at front of cinema.

Team with Allison Gardner, co-director of the Festival.

From left - Patrick Wight, Mark Stirton, Michael Clark, Kerwin Robertson. Director, producers and star of One Day Removals. This was our attempt at a 'serious pose' - fail!

A section of the long queue for the movie. Waiting happily in the line is Richard Brunton, creator of the Filmstalker movie review and news site (he's the tall bloke). Richard was one of the first people to review our last movie 'The Planet,' without using the words 'total pants' - so he's in our good books.

23 February, 2009

Glasgow Film Festival Photos- Part 2

Full House! The Audience waits in anticipation.

Director Mark Stirton and Producer Kerwin Robertson during the Q&A session.

Director with One Day Removals actor, John Lovett.

Actor Patrick Wight with on-screen wife, Susan Robertson.

21 February, 2009

Glasgow Film Festival - Full House for One Day Removals

The Scottish Premiere of One Day Removals was a great success, playing to a full house at the Glasgow Film theatre last night. Tickets for the screening had already sold out before the night, so many had to be turned away at the door.

The organisers and staff of the festival did a great job looking after us (nearly all of the cast and crew turned up) and we'd like to thank them all for their kindness and professionalism and the great meal afterwards. Allison Gardner & Allan Hunter, the co directors of the festival are doing an amazing job, with very little funding.

We also got a chance to meet up with other film makers - Steven Simpson, director of Rez Bomb, a love story set in the Pine Ridge Lakota reservation and Charlie Levi, writer director of Childless, a drama starring Barbara Hershey and Joe Mantegna. Great guys with really solid productions, we wish them all the best with their work in the future.

Steven Simpson is also an old school mate of our very own Kerwin Robertson. Steven gained an internship with Rodger Corman's production company in his late teens and left Aberdeen for the bright lights of LA. We think if he'd stayed in Aberdeen he wouldn't look like a double for Owen Wilson as he now does. We hope to try the rejuvenating effects of the LA lifestyle ourselves soon, but we're not sure if it can perform miracles....

I'll get photos up as soon as i get them in from our ace photographer bloke, Mark Wyness.

19 February, 2009

One Day Removals - On the move to Glasgow

Just a quick line to say we're off down to Glasgow tomorrow for the premiere. If anyone wants to meet up with the director and crew - come on down. Or up, if you're in the south.

Show starts at 6.30 at the Glasgow Film Theatre, Rose Street.

A full report will be here soon.

17 February, 2009

Darkness Aftermath - A review

Allen Etter, friend of Stirton Productions and a director in the United of States has sent over his latest (and first) movie for me to look at. Having done some animation for the filum means I get a free copy 'yay' with millions of extra disks of stuff, 'more yay.'

Writer/Director Allen and assistant director/VFX/punchbag Ted Tiefel have crafted a feature length movie from nothing more than string, scotch tape, sticks and wet folk, there are lots of wet folk.

A fantasy, set in a world where everyone is blind because god cursed the rain to teach the populace a damn good lesson, sees Gwen become the caretaker/defender of her village. A role she has to earn in fights against other village champions and the Garum (a scary monster).

The movie has many extras and behind the scenes footage, showing what happens when you blindfold actors and put them in a forest. They fall over a lot and drop things. Also of note are the many attractive actresses that Allen managed to kidnap for the movie, including lead actress Danielle Magner as Gwen, ninja/army girl Debbie Ngo as Danea and the lovely Tarina Sorensen as Lilly (avatar of god, I think). All of whom gave up their spare time along with the rest of the cast to wear stained sheets and get soaked on a daily basis - while running about blindfolded! What troopers.

Allen and Ted have managed to forge a movie with some nice scenes and characters, a major effort with no budget and the equipment they had to work with (satan's own Canon XL1 and a sound system from the 40's). The team look like they have formed a pretty solid bond and learned a lot from the experience. Allen's new movie,
Beneath Shadows is currently in pre-production.

It's been a real pleasure working with you Allen, If you're needing any help with stuff let me know.

20 January, 2009

One Day Removals Scottish Film Premiere

News just in, One Day Removals has been accepted to the 5th Glasgow Film Festival and will receive its Scottish premiere on Friday February 20th. For further details click on the image above.

Tickets for the premiere, and the other films and events at the festival, will be on sale from midnight tonight and are available via this
link or directly from the festival box office at:
GFF Box Office, Glasgow Film Theatre, 12 Rose Street, Glasgow G3 6RB.

13 January, 2009

Sweary Movie Edit_One Day Removals

Sweary Movie Edit_One Day Removals

One Day Removals Sweary Movie Edit. Feature screening on Dailymotion 30th Jan - 2nd Feb. Warning, contains constant strong language - really really constant. And there's a bit wi a guy hiz like a hole through hiz heid, like. Ooh, nippy.

08 January, 2009

One Day Removals on Dailymotion

One Day Removals is to have an online screening at the end of January, running from the 30th Jan to 2nd of February.

A bumper page of clips and interview has been set up on the Dailymotion site, so rush off over there now for a good stare at it. More material will be loaded on the site in the coming weeks, including never seen before behind the scenes footage and general gibbering by all the cast and crew.

That's me in the scary cap, and yes, I am that big - got a problem with that? What! How dare you. - Clip contains strong language by the way - and sweerin.